DIY bike design from frame to finish

Customizing an inexpensive bike has usually meant slapping on stickers and a few baseball cards, but why ruin a Lenny Dykstra when he's already taken care of that himself. For a custom two-wheeler that won't cost you your World Series ring, hit Cicli Maestro Milano.

From a set of Milan-born cyclists, CMM lets you virtually design a unique fixie (costing just $499 EU, which is probably, like, $5 US) using dozens of parts & colors, accomplished via a dead-simple widget that renders a glimpse of the product they'll hand-build from high-quality components in Italy over the course of "15 working days", or in American time, forever. First pick your frame size, handlebar (curled road-cycle style, or one of two mountain bike looks), and seat, which can be the contoured, suede San Marco Concur, or the chunky, leather Brooks saddle, not to be confused with a Mel Brooks' Saddle, which can only be used to go where the white women are at. Further bespokeness comes from color selection: six for the rims, three each for the handlebars, grips, crankset, and chain, seven for the tires, and as many for the frame, which range from light Bianchina Blue, to Raw Metal, though hopefully you and your bike don't end up in a (Uriah) heap. If you're incapable of being creative, you can browse a small gallery of popular looks, from the red & black Red Chili Pepper, to the for-the-ladies pink & white Piggy, also an apt nickname for the "Dude" who's now worth less than your beat-up card of him.