If you often find yourself at the gym wondering A) where the spear throw station is, and B) why no one else is wearing a super-comfortable and stylish loin cloth, you're probably still not ready for The Super Spartan -- an obstacle course designed by seven sadistically fit folks and one Royal Marine (no word on his fitness level) to challenge every kind of athlete's skill sets and make non-athletes weep openly. The course is twice the length of the regular-Spartan one at 8mi long -- meaning, at some point, you'll almost certainly lose yourself (ha!) amongst 30 obstacles including:
The Barbed Wire Crawl: Because the standard military height of 24in is super-easy and relaxing, you get to claw your way under barbed wire a mere 18in off the ground.
The Slick Wall of Thermopylae: While the wall will probably be made out of wood rather than scores of dead CGI Persians, both it and the rope will be all lubed up with who knows what, meaning this is one of the rare times where slickness isn't cool.
The Leonidas Lift:
You'll have to use a pulley system to heft huge buckets full of ancient stones pulled from the bosom of Greece itself. Or cement, maybe.
The Spear Throw:
Dudes awesome at javelin will be psyched to fling this pup at a hay-bale target, but since those dudes don't actually exist, you might have some trouble.
The Burpee Penalty:
Too exhausted to complete one of the obstacles? No worries, just DO 30 BURPEES YOU LOWLY ATHENIAN DOG!!
The Gladiator Arena:
By the time you get to this last obstacle you won't even care about the historical inaccuracy of Roman slaves beating you with giant padded pugils, because A) you're tired, and B) they're f'ing beating you with giant padded pugils!
Photos courtesy of Nuvision Action Image