Paddling is for groms

Because nothing's quite as horrible as physical exercise, SoCal's WaveJet's about to roll out their inaugural motorized surfboard system (with the motor residing in an interchangeable “Pod”), which negates the need to paddle out into the waves through the use of two, 20lb thrust, aluminum impellers controlled by a wireless wristband that'll shut down if the board travels more than leash-length from the rider.

Make sure you've got a ride for everyone in your family by picking up:

The Performance Shortboard: Obviously for you, 'cause how are you going to hit the lineup and shred the green room on not-a-shortboard? Plus, only barneys longboard at D Street. Plus plus, you should look up all of these surf terms, then think about incorporating them into your own lingo.

The 10'6” Walden SUP: Perfect for your Uncle Walden -- but only because his favorite movie's Stand Up Paddle Surfing: Hawaiian Style - Vol. 2 and definitely not because of the coincidental name thing -- this floating fortress takes the need to paddle out of the equation, though your unc's lack of shortboard abilities already proves he doesn't really know what'SUP.

The Body Board: Because you do your best boogie-ing in, and around, your nose, this little guy will keep your niece wildly entertained, as the only thing more horrible than physical exercise is having to actually entertain her yourself.

Photo by Aaron Chang