The skimboard experts hit the streets

After dominating the water, you'll eventually want to move to dry land, or at least that's what those crazy, God-hating evolutionists want you to believe. For another fringe group looking to leave the shores for solid ground, check out DB Skim & Skate.

Having slaughtered the skimboarding competition (and in case you didn't know, there's a lot of it!), the dudes behind DB now want you to ride their boards where the asphalt breaks, by dropping a series of four street-ready longboards graphic'd by Northwest artists:

The Wingman: This 36.75in downhiller is constructed from nine-ply maple and boasts shred levers that also make it perfect for free-riding and "progressive sliding" -- a fact that's purportedly led Obama to get one for everybody on his staff.

The Woodsman: Made for bombing hills, this maple-bamboo hybrid allows for increased grip and leverage thanks to DB's one-of-a-kind "shred hump", aka what happens when you and a lady friend find yourselves all alone in a gondola that's piping in Michael Buble.

The Cosmonaut: This ultra-long speed-deck is arted with a steampunk-ish spaceman, boasts a lowered foot platform for increased stability and easier pushing, and sports a springy 100% bamboo layup, but not a slam dunk like proving God invented dinosaurs so men could ride them and put them in theme parks.