If you had one story that would define your experience as a Major League ballplayer, what would it be?
Uhhh, the life of an underachiever. Overachiever! The life of an overachiever!
The life of an overachiever? So what's one example in the bigs where that came into play?
I played in the Olympics, and had a college coach who was doing an interview about the Olympic team and they asked about me, and he said I'd never be anything more than a utility guy if I ever made it to the big leagues. And I ended up playing 11 years, and as a starting second baseman for eight of those years.
You turned an unassisted triple play...when that goes down, do you have any idea what the hell's going on out there or is it all instinct and luck?
Yeah, it's all instinct and being in the right place at the right time. Obviously it has to happen with no outs and guys at 1st and 2nd, and so it was just an instinct play where I dove, caught the ball, took two steps, tramped on second, went to throw it to first and the runner was standing right there so I just tagged him. At that point, you're just excited that you got out of the inning, and then as you get to the dugout you realize, y'know, it was a little bit more than three outs in one play.
Your nickname is "The Dandy Little Glove Man". How'd that come about?
When I went to Chicago, Steve Stone and Chip Caray were the announcers, and I had a really good first couple of months when I first got to Chicago and Steve Stone gave me that nickname.
Ever think about wearing a bow tie and suspenders to back that name up?
There you go. [laughs] Never thought about that.
Would you rather take dieting advice from John Kruk or financial advice from Lenny Dykstra?
At this point in my life, I'd take dieting advice from John Kruk. Hands down.
How many jets have you purchased from Lenny Dykstra?
Zero. Zero jets.
Which would be a better feeling? Being dragged behind a truck along a rough cement road, or sliding into second at the Vet?
Being dragged along behind a truck.
There was a rumor going around about a herd of feral cats running around the Vet. Any truth to that?
Oh yeah, ohhh yeah. There'd be cats running around the field during batting practice, once in a while during a game. Absolutely. They'd run out into left or center and it took a few minutes to get them back off. That happened quite a few times.
So personal opinion: which do you think is better, the current Phillies insignia or the old swirly P?
I'm a swirly P kinda guy. I'm an old school kinda guy.
Is this the first interview where you've ever discussed swirly pee?
It really is. [laughs]
Have you ever copied any of your game highlights without the expressed written permission of the MLB?
I have not.