Lifestyle

Become deadly fit, deadly

Fighting Trim should probably have been named Fighting Off Trim, because that's what you'll have to do when the ladies start noticing your new bod and sense of "I can kick anybody's ass" confidence

The Pennsylvania Ave facility looks sort of like if a CrossFit gym was a level in an ultra-violent video game: there's tons of (fake) knives, bats, and guns scattered amongst less deadly fitness equipment, with the ethos of health & self-defense through an embrace of the "gladiator mentality", which up until now was "eat as many calzones as possible while watching Russell Crowe behead that guy with the pig helmet". Get started with

Commando Krav Maga: You've heard about this Israel Defense Force-developed combat system already? Well you're not special, maggot! Shut your mouth and give me 60, while blocking vicious mock knife-attacks!... see? It's intense. The 75min classes start with a tough 10min circuit, then get right into life-like scenarios involving all manner of weapons, pressure point manipulation, and submission tactics

Jungshin: This Korean art'll have you whipping around a 4ft-long wooden sword, which apparently totally rips up your core, but not like in the way that Russell Crowe does to that guy with the trident. You'll get plyometric with agility drills (from gator walking with the sword, to jumping over/rolling under the blade all awesomely), then actually get to battle other students, so it's 100% assured that you'll at least be fighting off someone with a stick.