A Southwestern grad pretties up your down-south

For a fashion statement straight out of a Georgetown that Dikembe Mutombo didn't sex, hold your pants up with Cinch Buckles. A former Southwestern Pirate (yup, that's what they are), Cinch's founder places pieces of vintage movie posters, 18th-century advertisements, postcards, line drawings, and antique photographs onto welded metal frames, fabrication she once performed but has now assigned to her husband. Some of her slier designs:

Riding Along: Hey old-timey buggy driver, a crocodile's jaws are only strong when they're chomping down, so next time maybe clamp them shut before your clearly instinct-free horse rides right into them?

Viva: Most people don't know this, but Viva's original slogan was "You're going to need a lot of paper towels to wipe up the blood of la revolucion."

Fish Monkey: "So, fish, what do you think about this whole evolution thing?" "I don't know, but if you look deeply into my flat, dead eyes, you can see I'm really hot for you. Who wants to sex fish?!"