Logically, ensuring that your swimwear's stylish is actually more important than the rest of your wardrobe, as your other clothes don't have to single-handedly draw all the attention away from your...you. Ensure that mesmerized ladies won't even bother looking above your waist with Paste, just now in to the South End's Uniform.
Expanding on his popular line of "bold, whimsical, and sometimes irreverent" graphic tees, the artsy digital collagist behind Paste has dropped an inaugural assemblage of men's swim trunks that rock retro-fit styling and captivating patterns inspired by urban life and scenes from the city, but not The Town, because no-one wants Jeremy Renner on their crotch. Unlined looks made from a quick-drying poly microfiber include the pixelated Mosaic w/ a gray camo-ish design and plastic side buckle; the brown, Ferris wheel-riffing Coney rocking side pockets and a non-scrunch elastic band; and a nylon-zippered, chlorine/saltwater-tested number inspired by Hokusai's famous Japanese woodblock print (duh) called the Wave -- so cool, that just like in the sixth inning, everyone will want to do it. Because no shirt also equals no service, cover your upper-shame with hand-screened tees adorned with everything from a horse proudly showing off its new braces, to a cadre of helmet-donning elephants parachuting from a military transport, to marathoners with dog heads, whose resemblance to Anubis is fitting, as anyone capable of running 26mi can just go right to hell.
And so no one at Revere Beach remains unaware of your patriotism, they've also got the America crewneck, with a rifle-carrying bald eagle soaring above dolphins leaping out of the ocean, something you're advised against doing too quickly, lest you jump up with nothing to obscure...you.