Looking good without looking like you care is tough to pull off, from finding just the right length of stubble, to finding just the right length of cucumber. Way too big, man! Helping you pull it off, Artfully Disheveled.
Turning out 100% custom-woven silk neckwear with an eye toward the "well-dressed rebel" and the "tailored misfit", AD operates under the credo "If obvious effort is the antithesis of grace, it is from Artful Dishevelment that grace springs", so apparently we can thank these dudes for "Pull Up to the Bumper"! Adorn your neck with:
The Six Shooter: Patterned with crisscrossed old-timey pistols in either silver/royal or red/navy, this tie fits with AD's advice to "never bring a knife to a gunfight", though you could get stabby as hell with one at a gun-tie fight.
The Shoreditch: A skinny-ish, East-London inspired joint with a chunky plaid pattern that "looks as good in the dance club as it does at the country club", so either way by the end of the night yours will be Bushwood.
The Sharps: A pointed navy & red bow-tie covered all over in needles, as was the late Senator Paul Simon...for always wearing a bow-tie.
For those looking to further raise their game there're a handful of eclectic pocket squares like the embroidered canvas Standard Issue, though that's exactly the statement you were trying to avoid making with the cucumber.