Summer footwear choices can be tough -- sneakers routinely get sweaty and gross, but so do sandals, especially if you're talking about the overweight New Jersey couples staying there. Hitting your summer shoe sweet spot: Zeko.
From a trio of Midwest buddies who sought to create the ultimate active summer shoe, Zeko makes sturdy but super-lightweight footwear that's particularly conducive to discarding socks, which Clinton would have done in no time flat for a quick OTPHJ. Weighing only 5.5oz, the water-resistant kicks have a sweat-wicking, microfiber mesh upper, a ventilated, compression-molded sole, and a single adjustable Velcro strap, although his devout religious beliefs made him feel guilty about all that hooking up. Go Hickory! Each pair's also completely machine-washable to help prevent your stank from wreaking havoc, while style's handled by nine colorways (blue/white, yellow/black, etc.) with contrasting stripes along the strap that're somewhat reminiscent of Adidas, so they'll look sweet when you run D.M.C.?
There's also a less-active Slipz model that comes on and off even easier, making it a little more beach-friendly, though that can be overrated when you're talking about those overweight New Jerseyans inviting you to play beach volleyball.