Practice makes perfectly coiffed hairdos

Malcolm Gladwell famously said that it takes 10000 hours of practice at something to become an expert, which is why Allen Iverson never, ever reads Gladwell anymore. Let your slick new haircut prove Gladwell right, at Semion Barbershop.

Helmed by a 4th-gen barber who routinely logged 7000+ haircuts per year as Floyd's top producer, Semion's a lime-floored, minimalist cuttery with 10 comfy black leather barber chairs anchoring a "not too cool for school" atmosphere where "nobody feels unwelcome", even people with dandruff, despite them always flaking on everyone. Should you tire of staring at yourself in the mirror, you are not Heidi Montag of Crested Butte, and you can gaze on two giant flatscreens flanking the main floor (plus play with three iPads) whilst awaiting your turn for a personalized shampoo sink (there's one at every station) and a shoulder-relaxing Oster hand massage, both of which feel so pleasurable, so tingle-inducingly good, that... umm...errr... quick! Look at the manly football on those TVs! A base cut from one of their six staff barbers starts at a super-reasonable $20 (a shampoo's only three bucks more), and includes the old-school touch of a hot towel; they also offer straight razor shaves, as well as mustache and beard trimming, and careful, complete head shaves -- perfect if you want to be the next ultimate fighter...of people knowing about your male pattern baldness!

Once they're fully ramped up, you'll be able to reserve appointments online and get reminders via text, also not something Iverson reads anymore, as picture books are much less likely to contain any Gladwellian observations.