Playing with needles since the tender-as-the-crook-of-your-elbow age of 14, the fancy-stitching Ferndale resident behind N&P just updated her wide array of Grandma-appropriate cross-stitchings sporting phrases so "de-motivational, insulting, and just downright vulgar" they'd even offend Larry "Grandmama" Johnson. Whether you spring for a framed original, or just purchase a PDF to follow while making it yourself (so, yeah, a framed original), here're just some of the dozens of patterns:
TV and Movie Quotes: From Forgetting Sarah Marshall's "I need to B my L all over someone's T's", to "That's What She Said" from The Office, also a place you definitely can't hang these things.
Daily Mantras: Have Rick Ross push you to the limit with the flower-adorned "Everyday I'm Hustlin'", or cogitate something he probably doesn't have to with "The Ass Is Always Greener".
Genitalia: You'll find everything from "I Shaved My Balls For This?" to "A Hard Man Is Good To Find" (note: not true if you're hanging out with Larry Johnson).
Insults: Derisive statements count "Eat A Bag Of D*cks" and "Douche Bag", about as much as a needle can hurt...outside of being stabbed in the tender crook of your elbow.