Make your cash look sexier

Despite their not paying completely fair taxation levied by perfectly reasonable monarchs, Americans do some things extremely right. Those include, apparently, wallets, like those hand-hewed by London-based US-expat Jim Whittle, whose leathers "scratch, scuff, and patina beautifully" -- a dedication to durability stemming from the notion that when something's good "you're happy to use a little duct tape to keep it alive", so take that to heart, UK kidnappers. Wallets currently come in three flavours:

Wrap: This nifty design uses the card-compartment as ballast, while a long strip of leather designed to hold banknotes wraps around it "as if it were your own hand", and taking equally permanent residence near your crotch.

Slim: Merely a cardholder doubled up on itself, its symmetry is only revealed when you flip it over and upside down, so it "will still fit into the tiny coin pockets on most jeans", meaning you'll have to find someplace else for your tiny coins.

Note: If you're so damnably lazy it's a wonder you have any money at all (outside the cash you so callously procure from your mum and successful brother, Colin), use the parallel spinal incisions on this billfold to pull banknotes without even opening the thing.

For writers and those who pretend to write, the latter design is also avail in a larger A4 journal size, whose similarly flexible spine can be filed with any papers you want (magazine tear-outs, printouts, blanks, etc.), while also concealing an inside compartment & a pen holder, so wherever you are, you can proudly write the Queen her cheque.