With the News of the World scuttled, and the resulting dangerous boom in the tree population on the horizon, it's good to know that Portland's Shwood is picking up the slack with its daringly arboreal line of sunglasses. Newly available on our sceptred isle, each frame is laser-cut from a single piece of sustainable exotic hardwood (cherry, Indian rosewood, or striped zebrawood), then fitted with Zeiss lenses and hand-finished -- proof that doing that to your wood can actually prevent blindness. Some of the designs:
1. Canby: The company's "flagship model", these classic-look shades are specifically styled after the beloved Wayfarer, so apparently the lawyers at Ray-Ban are way fairer than you'd imagine.
2. Govy: Sporting a more angular, boxy shape, the Gov's designed for those after a "more masculine appearance". It's probably only a matter of time before Westlife try these too.
3. Oswald: A "well-mannered" and "sophisticated" evocation of '30s design, the stylishly rounded frames and keyhole bridge are apparently taken from a "Panto-shaped" frame, meaning that when wearing these you'll be constantly looking behind you!
They've also just dropped a new style called "Neskowin", whose curvy arms and large lenses are made just for the ladies, though they might find trouble trying to sell the fairer sex on shades made from felled trees -- because as Mrs. Brooks keeps saying over and over again, women don't hack.