Jeans, the way the Romans made them

The Past. It gave us the Northern Line, which rubs our arses raw, but now it's also given us something that'll rub our arses right: Tender jeans, a new brand from a London merchant with a near-pathological obsession with the craftsmanship of yore, when clothes were "designed to be worn hard", and not just the birthday suits. Just some of the time-honoured craziness:

Fabric: Every piece is woven on pre-industrial shuttle looms, then individually dyed and re-dyed by hand in an "unbelievably painstaking process" that takes almost an entire day, so quit complaining about doing your tax returns.

The Dye: Going entirely plant-based, they use both the awesomely named bloodwood, and woad, the same stuff "Boudicca's Iceni tribe painted their bodies with", as if being half-naked in Britain wouldn't make you blue enough.

Brass: All metalwork is made via the same "lost wax method" used to cast classical bronze sculptures, which involves making a new cast from wax/plaster for each individual piece, then pouring in melted brass ingots for a uniquely "characterful casting", meaning you can look forward to Johnny Depp hanging off your thigh.

Leather: They use an 18-month-long oak bark tanning method dating "since the Roman invasion" to produce a softer, more supple, stronger leather that "darkens & stretches over time" (presumably, lunchtime).

The finished goods come in slim, wide, and tapered cuts. He's also pushing denim & cotton jackets, belts, and tees including one commissioned from 90-year-old illustrator Dorrit Dekk, depicting an elephant on a scooter -- so apparently The Past can produce something more advanced than the Northern, when it wants to.