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Loyal Clothing

It's hard to cultivate brand loyalty, which, in addition to a ridiculous premise and horrendous writing, must be why Arthur had a lower box office than Hop. Ha! Go cry into your wife's fabulous, fabulous rack. For a non-annoying brand seeking your allegiance: Loyal Clothing

Now dropping their largest collection yet of locally screenprinted graphic tees, Loyal's all about staying true to "what you do and who you are", its own street style paying homage to its owner's BMX career, which must've come to an endo. Highlights from the shirty newness include

Ron Burgundy:

The Anchorman's back, this time drawn as "a cartoon character" -- fitting, as impressions of him are generally done by people who are (Hagar the) Horrible

Giraffefro:

Inspired by a BMX rider's idea to tee-up the beautiful, long-necked creature with a ridiculous afro, they eventually realized Erykah Badu wasn't interested, and just drew this giraffe instead

Skyline:

While this soaring skyline looks rad, Loyal's owner admits he's "not sure what city that is", suggesting the skyscrapers weren't the only things that were high

And if those don't tickle your fancy (or they do and you're slutty like that), they've also got a bunch of older styles available, like one featuring CO's state flag artfully crossbred with the Loyal logo, making for the most aesthetically pleasing marriage since Katy Perry and Russell please God, let it be literally anyone else.