Let your shades do the talking. Or possibly screaming.

Most people wear sunglasses for two reasons: to remain covert because they have a hangover, or to have onlookers say "Look at that crazy sonofabitch's sunglasses!" while doing the daytime partying that should lead to that hangover. Fulfill mission #2, with Glasiz.

From a French-born, 305-dwelling designer inspired by everything from his own life experiences to Soulja Boy's shades, Glasiz offers 300 varieties of Wayfarer-shaped styles whose UV-blocking lenses are splashed with designs that range from garishly artsy to resplendently ridiculous. The artsy stuff draws from the likes of Warhol's Marilyn prints, Pollock's...stuff, and Keith Haring's "Radiant Baby" (you would be too if you just had sex with Patrick Swayze). There're also pairs repping countries (Brazil), interests (a DJ spinning), and social categories (nerds!), plus opportunities to get absolutely stupid with numbers like "FML" and "YES It's Huge" -- which, if true, means you can give that "FML" pair to Ben Robinson.

Glasiz will custom-design you a stash, provided you order at least 50, giving you a perfect handout for your next party, and forcing onlookers to decide whether the appropriate pluralization is sonsofbitches, or sonofabitches?