You might as well throw out all your other shirts

Published On 10/17/2011 Published On 10/17/2011

Concerned that Tre Cool from Green Day had overtaken the spot in your heart as "most-loved celeb with piercings", the one and only, 305-dwelling, ex-Mr. Carmen Electra just rolled out Rodman Ink: a Greek mythology-inspired line of tees that make Ed Hardy look like he prints Raffi's tour shirts. Since a phenomenon like this obviously can't go overlooked, here are a few choice highlights, and the best situations in which to rock 'em:

Galenthias Dark Gray Burnout; Job Interview: Nothing screams "hire me, asshat!!" like an animal-print-bikini-clad chick walking her pet blue tiger on a chain leash. Except you, while wearing this shirt and screaming "hire me, asshat!!" (Tie optional)

Pandora's Box; First Meeting with the GF’s Parents: This pale yellow guy sports a charming busty naked babe front and center, proving to her mom and dad that, at the very least, you are attracted to women, and have enough money to buy t-shirts made by ex-Celebrity Apprentice contestants. (Tie not optional)

Feast of The Nymph; A Party on Dennis Rodman's Veranda: Rocking a very visible thong, knee-high boots, and some serious side-boob, Atlas' little sexpot offspring sits on some giant skulls, and will certainly impress your kind host so much, he’ll give you Judd Bucheler's pager number. (Tie mandatory, Judd's very conservative)