Lifetime guarantees suggest one of two things: either the manufacturer is confident in the quality of their product, or they're confident in their ability to speedily kill you. Promising his gear will last longer than you even without the aid of murder: Emil Erwin, and his Handcrafted Goods.
A Nashvillean intent on "revitalizing the American manufacturing tradition", EE's made-to-order, ultra high-qual accessories range from bags to belts to wallets, each meticulously constructed with the promise of lasting "several lifetimes", though you may choose to quickly end your own rather than watch a steady stream of their original movies. For bags there's the Erwin folio, whose stainless steel hardware and military-standard nylon don't stop its English bridle leather straps and heavily burnished Horween body from giving it a turn-of-the-century vibe; the "almost indestructible" tan Waxed Canvas Briefcase; and the cotton-n-canvas Classic Satchel, "modeled after a 1940s hunting bag", really the last decade in which Minnie Driver should have been considered attractive enough to drive cross country for. Smaller steez includes Horween eyeglass cases with brass clasps, super-minimalist four-pocket trifold wallets, and, with its rear-fastening "hidden adjustment" buckle, the Conway Belt, which the craftsman boldly claims "holds your pants up".
Should you wish to look like the burliest of butchers, he even makes a waxed canvas apron sporting leather waist and neck straps, a reminder that if this stuff doesn't last forever, your windpipe's pretty damn vulnerable.
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