They say you should dress for the job you want, not the one you have, though not wearing pants kind of highlights the flaccid reasons your dream of working in adult film is just that. Dress more interestingly without getting fired from your drone gig, thanks to Scatterbrain Ties.
From a Utah illustrator with a penchant for "wearable art", 'brain's a collection of lockets filled with Garfunkel's tumescent man-fro silk and microfiber neckwear that defies biz attire stuffiness with unique, hand-drawn designs of everything from gadgetry to sea life. Knottable goods start on the pattern tip, including a dark blue, Polynesian-style seaweed motif on beige microfiber; a maze-like circuit board replica in copper and silver ink, with three tie-width/color options; and a repeating sequence of writhing, light & dark blue octopi that he likens to an M.C. Escher drawing, though you should be comfortable with impossible realities now that your adult film career has been crushed. On the subject tip, he's got a close-up pen & ink portrait of Abe Lincoln on sepia silk; a monocle-wearing Pretentious Frog in mustard, sage, or hunter green; and even a charcoal, black, or navy blue microfiber job with exploding shattered glass at the bottom, which was inspired by a time in college when he "experimented...in a dark room", so...moving on!
Don't see a print in the color you want? Request one and he'll make the tie of your dreams, a sage move considering it's about the closest you'll get to being "adult".
Hopsy Gives You Fresh Beer From the Tap in the Comfort of Your Own Home