Own

Victor Watch, Diamond-Encrusted Gold-Accented Bezel

"Even if your dad drives a Honda Odyssey to his 6ft-and-under, 40-and-over half-court game at the rec center, why shouldn’t he look like he just stepped off of P. Diddy’s yacht? By the way, being 'encrusted' is either awesome or terrible. Things only get encrusted with jewels or barnacles."