Cycling attire is usually stupid. Seriously, you really need two of them to be able to balance on the thing. Because most bike-related outfits are also dumb, replace them with One Gear Clothing.
From a bike-obsessed Costa Mesa man, One celebrates China's lone means of conveyance with a collection of handscreened, mostly slim-fit tees rocking cheeky/arty designs rather partial to fixed gear bikes, which's just what you have to do to aggressive gear-bikes that keep baring their teeth. Straight-up silhouetted simplicity runs on numbers like "Stand" featuring a flipped-brim messenger, one with "Ride Me" suggestively scrawled on the back, and "Keirin" with three shadowy racers, named for Japan's circa-1940s track sprints which one could gamble on "the way Americans bet on horse racing", though "ignorantly and irresponsibly" doesn't really seem in fitting with the stoic Japanese spirit. Unconventional odes to the machine include "Ghost Roger" with a Terminator-like skull sporting a solo gear for an eye, the red-streaked "Rising Sun" with a rider negatively spaced in the eye of the flag's design, and one with shoulders respectively sporting halo'd and horned riders called "Angels and Demons" which ought to sell millions, despite its large holes.
If you prefer to use your words, there's an old-timey prominently printed tee claiming "Happiness is Perfect Chain Tension", which is also what occurs uncomfortably between you and your own chain when you keep ditching your bike for that stupid unicycle.