Just because you think dress shirts are just longer t-shirts that stretch over your butt, doesn't mean you shouldn't own actual custom, delivered-to-your-door ones from Hall&Madden.
The company, surprisingly not named after that time Daryl Hall awkwardly stopped by the Monday Night Football booth, wants to make you feel good about yourself every four months by sending you a new shipment of three made-to-your-specs button-downs, kept super-affordable by skipping past wholesale/retail consumer markup, and bundling production/shipping. In order to look so good construction workers yell lewd things at you, just answer seven questions about things like height, weight, body type, then fill in nine more specific body measurements you can take yourself (they've got a video tutorial!), or have the whole thing done at their soon-to-be-here pop-up shop (more on that below). After that, throw them one Benjamin Franklin and one whoever-is-on-the-$50, and in just about a fortnight you'll receive three basic, wide-collar shirts (white, striped, light blue). The second time around, once they know your collar-to-tail measurement isn't a 34 (gross!), they'll allow full customization, including picking famous European fabrics (Thomas Mason! Someone named Albini!), colors, contrast stitching, and detail options (though aren't those just: have your tail removed, or don't?).
After that, they'll dutifully remind you to re-up every season (don't tell Omar!) then charge your Diners Club card, but they promise their feelings won't be hurt if you cancel at any point, though that seems like kind of a stretch.