Because even socially awkward gingers can get laid if they're
Shaun White steezed out while hucking mad McTwirlies, take care of at least the steezy half with Homeschool, a PDX snowboard outfitter with the motto “if it works here, it works anywhere”, which isn't exactly true, as most people in Portland spend too much time making feathered hair clips to work much at all.
Stave off the half-melted Big Bear quasi-cold with:
Jackets: Ultra-breathable torso coverage comes primed with waterproof laminate/side-shielded “Darth Hater” hoods and rocks fierce names like Naked Raygun and Dangermare, which'll make even more sense when people see you ride.
Pants: Similarly tech'd long shorts boast taped seams to keep you dry, inseam vents for temp control, an “accessory holster” on the right thigh, and a “Homeschool engineered fit”, which means they're insanely intricate, and really, really lonely.
Base Layer: Proving layers aren't just literary devices for developing deeper story arcs or gum, they also sling quick-drying, four-way stretch terry/ poly fleece mid-layers, and a brightly colored base layer suit that's odor-resistant, something damn important up in PDX, as even the deodorant up there apparently doesn't do much work.
This Exhilarating Ride Takes You on a Mountain Adventure