300 Harvey Dr; 818.242.9191; Minx-La.com
$1500 gets you a 42" Plasma-ed private cabana with seating for 20, plus two bottles of hooch, two of bubbly, a case of beer, appetizers, and a whole lotta... chili. The added bonus is that you take the TV home at the end of the game -- well, the bonus is really that you don't go to jail, since you were taking the TV one way or the other.
Beverly Hills: The Camden House
430 N Camden; 310.901.6030/310.285.9848; CamdenHousebh.com
Former Bears receiver Willie Gault will be at this party featuring a huge projection screen, plush booths, drink specials, and an after-the-game comedy show. Admission's free, but if you expect Speedy Willie to repeat his lyrical performance in "The Superbowl Shuffle" you'd better bring your loose change.
Santa Monica: Typhoon
3221 Donald Douglas Rt South; 310.390.6565; Typhoon.biz
30min before kickoff Typhoon'll launch their $39.95 all-you-can-eat melee of Sushi and assorted pan-Asian deliciousness. 30min after kickoff, you will collapse from an "Indianapolis Roll" overdose.
Redondo Beach: Redondo Beach Super Bowl 10k/5k
Redondo Beach Seaside Lagoon; N Harbor Dr at Beryl St; 310.376.6911; Redondo10k.com
Instead of surrendering to corpulent couch-denting, start Super Sunday with this 5- or 10k Redondo Beach run. Win both the race and the accompanying costume contest when you mess with your competitors' heads by dressing as a couch.
4103 Burbank Blvd; 818.840.9493; ChampsSportsPub.com
When poppers, wings, and subs from Santros come free, the only question left is which macrobrew you'll get alcohol poisoning from. To breastily influence your decision, both the Miller and Bud girls will be doling out coupons for their respective brews. Just remember: cool it with the "popper in my pocket" joke -- you're the one who's drunk.