Because you're dangerously underweight, we asked a cagey quartet of area chefs and mixologists to hook us up with XLIV recipes so easy and delicious, even Jim Zorn would agree they're an obvious call.
Old Kentucky Beer Cheese From Dennis Marron, Jackson 20 & The Grille at Morrison House From the mind behind two Alexandrian greats, this spreadable chunk of spicy cheddar is loosely based on a recipe originated in the 1940s on the Kentucky River, where you can still find floating the decommissioned Jared "Battleship" Lorenzen. Peep this recipe for dietary deliverance
Honey-Nut Crackle From David Guas, author of DamGoodSweet: Desserts to Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth New Orleans Style Bestowed by the NO-born former pastry chef at Acadiana, these golden nuggets of flakey goodness pack a crunch loud enough to drown out chants of "Who Dat?!" from friends who learned the phrase, like, 11 days ago. It's Mardi Gras for your mouth right here
Gridiron Grog From Amy Troutmiller, Urbana A tasty boilermaker-in-disguise, this wheat beer/bourbon cocktail includes muddled lemon/lime in a nod to the citrus-y grog invented by an 18th century British admiral, whose crew was rescued from scurvy by increased Vitamin C, and from boredom by the sweet loss of inhibitions by increased Vitamin B(ooze). Mix up an expectant Gatorade cooler's worth, with this here recipe
Green Gridiron From Matt Perkins, Cedar As tasty as it is easy, this absinthe-brewtail pays homage to both Louisiana's traditional sazerac, and to the fact that there are relatively few nicknames for a football field besides "gridiron". This recipe is more bomb than NFL Blitz's "Da Bomb", which worked every single time