Outside of a few degenerates, Reddit contains a community of everyday heroes, dedicated to making our lives better with bits of knowledge designed to improve our day-to-day. Collected here are 14 of the most useful life pro tips and "hacks" ever scattered throughout Reddit, submitted for your approval and immediate application. Don't thank me, thank the glorious gods of the Internet.
1. Hold drinks with your left hand in social settings
As this user named Engvar points out, a cool clammy handshake during a networking event is a surefire precursor to a poverty-filled, unsuccessful life. Seriously, though, it never looks good to juggle that brew in your hand before shaking someone's hand, and keeping a cold one in your southpaw will ensure a warm, friendly hand shake with ol' righty. Unless your palms are naturally sweaty and cold, which is another problem altogether.
2. Hack into free Wi-Fi on planes (some airlines, anyway)
What good is an expertly snapped shot of your plane's wing hovering majestically above the Idaho landscape if you can't even upload it until you reach Vancouver? Time waits for no 'gram. Redditor walkintalkinhawkin details this (surprisingly simple) seven-step method to securing free internet at 30,000+ feet. It only works on US Airways and American Airlines flights and on Internet-enabled Apple products -- but we have tried it and it definitely works, so use it now before they close the loophole.
3. Test your batteries to see how much juice they have left
Good batteries will stay standing when dropped gently on an even surface, while dead ones will fall over. No seriously, it works!
4. Get extra power with screwdrivers by fitting them with a wrench
As this home improvement-minded Redditor pointed out, most wrenches are affixed with grooved handles that will snugly fit a wrench. When you need to turn a screw that's stuck, or if you need a little extra elbow grease (that you don't have, naturally), using a wrench will provide a lot more torque than your hands. Also, many screwdrivers will have an extra metal block at the base of the shaft (... grow up, guys) to fit the wrench, if the handle doesn't.
5. Flatten meat before you freeze it, to reduce thawing time and save space
This meat-hack (that sounds weird...) actually delivers two perks at once: you'll reduce the time it takes for your meat to thaw, and also save space in your freezer by flattening out the meat product before placing it in the freezer. All you need is some Ziploc bags, and a love of quick beef.
6. Your bottle opener is also a fingernail-saving can opener
For those of you eternally wondering what the extra groove on the reverse side of your bottle opener is for, it's designed to help you open those stubborn, fingernail-breaking can tabs. Not all heroes wear capes. We will all sleep a little sounder tonight... probably because of all the beers we just opened.
7. Duct tape can help you remove lids
In case a big strong man like me isn't around to open your mason jars and assorted soda pops, simply wrap some duct tape around the stuck lid, as evidenced by the video above, and brought to our attention by the Redditor opi8, who includes a handy GIF in his post if you don't have the wherewithal to watch the video.
8. Buy group seats in front/behind each other, not side-by-side
Have you ever bought 5+ tickets to a game or concert, and ended up not even talking to half the people you are with? Most spectators that roll deep will end up spreading their groups throughout a single row, Last Supper-style, even though using two rows is a more efficient way to spread out a group, while still keeping everything cohesive. But then you might have to talk to your sister's boyfriend Rick, which sucks.
9. Look better in photos
Do most of your carefully planned photos end up with you looking like Sloth from The Goonies after a three-day bender in 98% humidity? We thank this guy for bringing this illuminating video to the attention of the world. If only it was there for me as a teenager -- Prom Night might have gone a lot smoother. And I'd have the pictures to prove it.
10. This stupidly obvious solution to the two-bowls-in-the-microwave dilemma
Heating up your bowls or plates one at a time in modern microwaves is borderline barbaric. What good is harnessing the power of radiation in your home if you have to wait like a Mennonite and heat up each leftover individually? This picture tells you everything you need to know. About microwaves, and in a weird way, about life.
11. Get rid of "those last three drops," (guys only, sorry)
One of the worst things that can happen in your pants -- the dreaded last three drops, have a surprisingly simple remedy. For all the ladies out there who aren't familiar with this problem: when guys urinate, they frequently will have a few drops of urine left in their urethra, which will escape shortly after they zip up, leaving uncomfortable wet zones of shame. As a solution, after urination, if you press down on your perineum (the muscle between your balls and your sphincter, commonly referred to as a "taint" or "grundle") it will expel most of those last drops. Then a proper shake should finish the job. Is it worth the glares you'll most assuredly receive from the dude peeing next to you, as you thoroughly massage your ass-to-ball-connection? Maybe. Depends on what state you are in.
12. Get paid $$$ whenever airlines lose your bag
According to the aptly-named ImportGuy, and confirmed by several commenters in-the-know, if an airline loses your bag, you can snag clothes, sunglasses, other accoutrements, or whatever the hell you want while the airline finds your bag. Eventually, you'll be reimbursed as long as your bill is under $500, and you keep all your receipts. Free underwear? I've lost suitcases for less, that's for sure.
13. Use Airplane mode while playing games to get rid of pop-up ads
I love "Kim Kardashian: Hollywood" as much as the next red-blooded American male, but I cannot stand the incessant pop-up ads that deter me from my digital fabulousness. As a workaround, you can set your phone to Airplane mode (yes, you can do this when you aren't on an airplane) to disable any internet access, so all ads will be blocked. Game on.
14. Get free online shopping coupons for holding out
When you're shopping online, you can take advantage of "the man" with this small trick that I've personally found to work frequently: put the items you want into your shopping cart, and go through the purchasing motions until you reach the stage where you need to pay. If you stop right there, you'll give these online retailers the commercial equivalent of blue balls, and many of them will respond like desperate frat bros by sending you an automated email -- even after a day or so -- asking if you are still interested in buying, and asking if something went wrong in the process. They'll also tend to shower you with gifts, deals, and coupons to encourage you to take that one final step toward purchase.
**BONUS** If you get stranded in the woods, knock down an electrical pole
So this probably won't apply to most people's everyday lives, but if you ever find yourself stranded in the woods, and wishing you paid more attention in fifth grade English when you had to read Hatchet, one quick way to secure some speedy help is to find some power lines, and knock them down. For real: this guy actually did it. The electric company will be notified within seconds, because thousands of people will have their Netflix privileges revoked, and they will hastily come to investigate the issue. Sure, it won't be easy, but neither is starving to death, right?
Wil Fulton is a staff writer for Supercompressor. He has nothing but love for Gary Paulson. Follow him @WilFulton.
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