The TSA gets a lot of flack for being invasive, inefficient, and very annoying. This may all be true. But they do keep a ton of terrifying s**t off our planes. Last week, for instance, they nabbed 51 firearms. And yes, 39 were loaded, and 13 had a round in the chamber.
Since this branch of our government is young, they're of course on social media, and run a phenomenal Instagram. Below is a greatest hits list of October to hopefully put you at ease. Though, actually, it might have the exact opposite effect.
10. A Gun-Knife and a Dragon Knife
A knife disguised as a gun? Are you kidding? Why would you want to draw more attention to the knife?
9. Black Powder
Oh, it's not technically explosives, you say? Because it deflagrates? Well it's still not something we want in a cramped metal box 35,000 feet above the ground. It also says "extremely flammable and explosive."
8. Fake Semtex and Detonator
Say your job requires you to have fake semtex rigged up into a bomb. You'd think you'd have the attention to detail to leave this out of your carry-on. This probably caused like 1,000 people to miss their flights. Discourteous.
7. A Terrifying Pistol
Your garden variety .22 Hornet? Nope. These are the way more intense FN 5.7x28-millimeter cartridges. Fortunately it looks like this guy has some lead-free rounds (gold tips) and the sporting rounds (blue tips) that deform quite a lot. The more you know?
6. A "Brush" Dagger
Whatever this is, it looks like it's designed purely for killing. Nobody has one of these by accident.
5. A Derringer
This looks like the kind of gun that killed our most beloved and not-at-all rich president. Who owns this baby shotgun pistol? The kind of person who "forgets" they have a gun on them should probably not have guns.
4. A Swiss Army Knife in a Hollowed-out Hard Drive Bay
We'd love to know the thought process on this one. You hollow-out a hard drive to put a pocket knife in? You obviously didn't think "Sh*t, I forgot I can't take this knife with me, but it was from my grandfather so I'll destroy my computer and try to smuggle it on." You're clearly not trying to hijack anything with this setup. Maybe you're trying to get to some country that doesn't allow pocket knives? Please let us know your theories in the comments.
3. Roman Dagger
What does this SPQR dagger make you think of? Assassination for sure. This is Brutus status. Keep it the f*** off my plane.
2. A Pen Gun
First, these things actually exist. That is absolutely terrifying. Second, this looks like it was professionally made so that means there are probably tons floating out there. Maybe it's time to snag that bulletproof pocket square.
1. An Actual Cannon
"It's a little corny and obvious, but what do you get out of being subtle, right?"
Ethan Wolff-Mann is an editor of Supercompressor. He was stopped by the TSA last year due to a can of Modelo. Five minutes later, he went back through again and they found the second can. He still flew. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram.