Tech

Guy Hilariously Sends Girl a Year's Worth of Texts Trying to Get Sunglasses Back

Published On 09/10/2015 Published On 09/10/2015
Imgur/phillyalex

Have you ever had someone walk off with something you really loved? Maybe the "thief" in question was someone you dated then lost touch with, who disappeared from your life with your beloved property? Back in the day, you could kiss that misplaced item (and your long lost love) goodbye. But our with modern technology, from smartphones to social networks, it's almost harder to lose track of someone than it is to find them. 

Unless you're this poor guy, Alex, who asked his date Anna to hold his brand new shades for him while out to dinner. She bailed on the date, and, long story short, never responded to the poor guy in his yearlong attempt to have his beloved specs returned to him. For humanity's sake, Alex posted the entire (one-sided) correspondence to Imgur, so we can all learn from the cautionary tale.

Imgur/phillyalex

Things started off as you'd expect, with a few interspersed polite texts.

Imgur/phillyalex

After nearly a month, to catch Anna's attention, Alex resorted to song lyrics...

Imgur/phillyalex

... calendar events... 

Imgur/phillyalex

...gag photos... 

Imgur/phillyalex

... missing glasses posters... 

Imgur/phillyalex

... memes...

Imgur/phillyalex

... heartfelt declarations of his values...

Imgur/phillyalex

... comedic Twitter embeds... 

Imgur/phillyalex

... pie charts...

Imgur/phillyalex

... a detailed time analysis...

Imgur/phillyalex

... and emoji threats... when Anna finally broke her silence and responded AFTER AN ENTIRE YEAR.

Imgur/phillyalex
Imgur/phillyalex

Unsurprisingly, Anna's response was weak. Moved in January? That was nearly three full months into Alex's fruitless quest to have his shades returned. And those iMessages are in the blue -- don't believe for one minute she wasn't receiving all those texts the whole time. And seriously... not one LOL? Even if he lost the glasses, Alex should be glad that the relationship didn't pan out. Anna's the worst.


Brett Williams is an editorial assistant at Supercompressor. If someone ever walks off with his Ray-Bans, he's coming after them, Liam Neeson style.

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