VICE: Naked Women - $Varies
No explanation required.
WHOO KID: Beautiful young exotic women is every man's vice. The female body should be illegal; it will make any man do bad things.
And now, for the tough stuff...
Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck, or a hundred duck-sized horses?
[laughter] A hundred duck-sized horses.
Would you rather receive $20,000 right now, or gain the ability to summon Stone Cold Steve Austin three times in your life?
Rather get $20,000 — I'm black.
Would you rather have Cheeto fingers for the rest of your life or have a Kool-Aid mustache for the rest of your life?
Would you rather have hair for teeth, or teeth for hair?
Teeth for hair.
Would you rather have your entire browser history available for people to see or fart confetti?
Fart confetti. [laughter]
Would you rather hold your horses, or cool your jets?
Cool my jets.
Would you rather have a nipple-sized penis, or penis-sized nipples?
[laughter] Nipple-sized penis. Easier to hide.
Would you rather only be allowed to talk in a condescending, mean-spirited style or be required to pee on every person you meet after knowing them for a year?
I'd pee on everyone.
Would you accept $10,000 per year for life if it meant every time you hit your funny bone you pooped your pants?
Yup. No problem.
Would you rather live in Pizza City or on Cheeseburger Island?
Joe McGauley is a senior editor at Supercompressor and is saving up for a nice pied a terre in Pizza City.