When you put your device into "lover performance mode" (yes, really) it will record the frequency of your amorous efforts, the calories burned, the duration, etc, all with the intention of making you a more mindful and educated lover.
Because the only thing sexier than getting in bed with someone is uttering those sultry words she always wants to hear: "Hang on while I activate my fitness tracker, baby."
It's coming later this summer, so hopefully you will be, too.
Ali Drucker is a staff writer for Supercompressor. She thinks the future is kinda scary. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.