How To Swear on an iPhone Without Ducking Corrections

Sometimes Apple does feel a bit like Big Brother. Or at least like a parent telling you not to appreciate the nude human form and use big, beautiful English words like f***, which is a shame, because as Stephen Fry explains below, swearing is f***ing great.

But yesterday, Choire Sicha over at The Awl reminded us once again how to find Apple’s loop hole so you’ll never have to retype another mitch-add swear word again. Choire’s way is simple: just make a bunch of keyboard shortcuts, which are supposed to be used for slang to correct things like “jk” to “just kidding.” To get your phone to stop correcting you, simply make a shortcut for swear in “Keyboard” settings found in “General.” Of course, you could create an actual shortcut for your swear as well. Might we suggest a classic “mf?” for motherf***er?

Unfortunately, though, this is kind of a pain. While the effectiveness of Choire’s method is beyond reproach, it takes a sh*t load of time to do. Instead, we have a better solution that seems to work for us—creating a "Scapegoat Contact."

You can make a “Scapegoat Contact” (I just invented the term, it’s not a “thing.” Yet.) by putting every dirty word you know in the first and last name fields of one lucky (presumably numberless) contact. With this method, Apple will think you’re referring to a person, so your iPhone might capitalize your blue words. Which is fine and/or preferred, because the emphasis should be there.

Have fun, kids.

Ethan Wolff-Mann is an editor at Supercompressor. He has a wonderful and rich vocabulary. Follow him on Twitter @ewolffmann