In reaction to the pending inevitability of a Godzilla attack (probably), Japanese engineers have developed another big-ticket item poised to titillate and befuddle the Western world: The Kuratas Exoskeleton, now available on Amazon for an ice-cold $1,023,537. Start saving.
The Kuratus—weighing in at five tons, measuring 13 feet in height, and sporting six wheels and 30 hydraulic joints— would definitely kick Hugh Jackman's ass in that movie about boxing robots that no one saw.
But unlike your standard remote controlled fighting robot - you can actually climb inside and pilot yourself, making it a fully-fledged exoskeleton. Though it's bulky frame make it more akin to Pacific Rim than Tony Stark's super-suit.
For those who would rather vanquish evil on the sidelines, the Kuratas can be motion-controlled with your smart phone, using what they (questionably) call the "Master-Slave" program, accessible to any 3G device. This could lead to some devastating butt-dials.
You better believe the Kuratus can be outfitted with hyper-futuristic weapons, too. Including this gun above, capable of firing 6,000 BB bullets per minute, activated when the pilot smiles. Which is pretty much the creepiest thing ever.
This excessive suit is available in 16 colors, including pink: which always goes well with killer exoskeletons that fire bullets when you smile.
This metallic-beast was designed by Japanese inventor Kogora Kurata, often referred to by me as the Japanese Edison.
"It seemed unlikely that anyone would develop giant robots however long I waited. And so I thought, I might as well make one myself...", he told Zoomin.tv in an interview. Totally not crazy, right?
Alas, something this good always has a catch. The caveat on this robotic monster (besides the price) is that some assembly is required. Actually, full assembly is required. Making it pretty much f*cking impossible to own.
If I've learned anything from Japanese film, it's that the countryside is literally swamped with radioactive monsters. The Kuratas should aptly take care of all Mothras, Gameras, and Mech-Godzillas.
Just don't forget to smile.