We're New Yorkers. We have to trudge through the snow to get to work, avoid cockroaches before we get into bed, breathe in the stink of hot garbage during summer, and pay $20 for coffee—plus, the rent is too damn high! Thus, we deserve to be lazy—it's our geographical duty. With technology's harsh grip turning into more of a mellow rub-down every day, we're finding that any app that makes this concrete jungle even a tiny bit more manageable is worth it.
At this point, we all know how to use Seamless and Tinder, so we took an even deeper dive into the Internet and found 10 lazy apps (and a few websites) that make living in NYC just a little more bearable.
1.MTailor For the stylishly lazy folk who don't want to leave their bedrooms to find a custom-made shirt, MTailor quells the need for a well-fitting garment by giving users the option to provide their measurements by way of a recorded video in the app. You prop up your phone, follow a set of instructions and movements, and the video is then sent to fashion experts who craft you a shirt based on how your body looks.
Beware: not the best app if you're self-conscious about being seen with your shirt off.
2. Enclosed Taking the guesswork out of buying your girlfriend sexy undies is perfect for not only NYC-based dudes, but all dudes in general. We fully admit that we have no damn idea what we're doing when we try to go shopping for our girlfriends.
Through Enclosed, you can choose the size, style, and color of underwear and they'll send it to your S.O. with a saucy note.
3.WashClub Perhaps the most grueling chore in New York City is laundry. If you don't have it in your building, it's 10 blocks away—if it is in your building, the dryers are located in the deepest, darkest basement and are almost always out of order. WashClub is great, because they come to your house, grab your soiled shirts and pants, and deliver them back folded for free within 24-48 hours of pick up.
This sounds ridiculous to the people not living here, we know, but trust us, this is a God-send. (Price: $1.15 per pound for wash and fold laundry.)
4.MiniBar After winning our great booze app delivery race a couple months ago, we've deemed MiniBar the greatest liquor delivery service in NYC. It's insanely easy: enter your zip code, pick your poison, give your credit card info, and alcohol is delivered to your house within 10 minutes or less. It's perfect for those rainy Sunday nights when you realize that Seamless doesn't stock bourbon.
5.Beer?! There's a type of simplistic genius in these one-word texting apps, and this falls into that category. Super simple concept: download the app, find your friends, text one word to them. That word: "Beer?!" Unlike the surreptitious language of Yo, this particular service posits a very straightforward answer to the very question you're asking.
6.eBay Valet Turns out eBay is a lot more work than you thought. Monitoring your item, buying a box, sending it out, waiting for payment—it's a huge pain, and eBay Valet solves all of those problems by simply doing all those things for you. Take a photo of your item, briefly describe it, and that's it. They give you a price estimate and send you a postmarked box. It's a super easy way to get rid of all your old crap and make some easy money.
7.Bespoke Post We've been digging Bespoke Post for a long time now. For $45 a month, you get sent a themed box full of awesome, awesome stuff. The one above is the Frontier, which includes a pocket knife, fountain pen, cold pressed steel bottle opener, and blue soft cover notebook. Normally you'd have to traverse the city get your hands on this kind of gear, but these guys have you covered.
8.Shyp This is actually a pretty fantastic idea. Snap a photo of an item you want to send to a friend, request a pickup, and then Shyp picks up your item and sends it using the lowest cost and most reliable option. Pretty amazing, because you don't even want to get us started on the post office. What's the deal with the post office?
9.HomeSlice If you live in NYC, and are not directly related to John D. Rockefeller, you have roommates. Related note: you know what sucks? Having roommates. HomeSlice is kind of like a virtual chore wheel, where you can display chores that need to get done, supplies that need to be purchased, and bills that need to be paid—displayed and assigned to everyone you live with. You can passive-aggressively tell someone to do the dishes without ever leaving your room.
10.Blower This might legitimately be the laziest app in the history of iPhones. Its one and only feature is that it blows a stream of air out of the bottom of your iPhone/iPad. That's literally it, and it costs $.99. (The app uses a specific pitch of music to blow out candles, lighters, or even spices off the table.)
What is the world coming to? How else could you conceivably use this app aside from blowing out candles as a cheap party trick? I'm sorry, a 99-cent party trick?! You've won this round, technology.
Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and occasionally literally cannot even.