Look, we’ve all done it. We've all left our card at the bar, lost a coat, or sent an ex regrettable texts at the end of a particularly long night. If this isn't a problem for you, congratulations for keeping your shit together. But we all have that special friend who just can’t help themselves after one too many Four Lokos (which is, by the way, exactly one Four Loko). If you or someone you know can’t stop making poorly advised decisions or late night phone calls, we're here to help.
Free on iOS and Android When things get straight-up sloppy, this app is here to save you from yourself. It locks access to specific contacts you select for a pre-set amount of time (if you want to disable it before time's up, you must solve a slightly complex math equation). It also helps you track down your friends’ whereabouts if you get separated, and includes a “breadcrumbs” feature that tracks all the locations you visit over the course of the night in case you're unsure where you left your card, coat, or dignity.
Free on iOS and Android The 21st century answer to bringing along a designated driver, Stearclear enlists a small army of two-person driving teams in various cities who’ll come pick you up when you’re ready to call it a night and deliver both you and your vehicle to your house. Can someone please forward this to Lindsay Lohan?
Free on Android If you’re less concerned about texting or calling than you are about ranting and raving on social media, Drunk Locker allows you to block everything from Snapchat to Facebook to Instagram for the duration of your night out, which is good since no one wants to see your 3am blurry-eyed selfie anyway.
I’m Getting Arrested
Free on Android If you’ve been known to get, uh.. “rowdy,” it may behoove you to have a simple way of letting people know you’re about to be hauled off to the clink. This app -- which was actually inspired by the Occupy Wall Street protests a few years ago -- allows you to compose a custom text message ahead of time (i.e., "I’m about to be arrested! Whoops, sorry mom!) that will be sent out to preselected contacts when you tap a special bullseye button.
Free on iOS As convenient as your Uber ride is at the end of a long night, it's easy to rack up a jaw-dropping fare thanks to surge pricing. Thankfully, this app shows you just far you need to walk to avoid one, which will most likely give you just enough time to finish the delicious pepperoni slice you just bought.
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Joe McGauley is a senior writer for Thrillist who could stand to use at least two of these apps.