Use a way more secure alphanumeric passcode
Worried your four- or six-digit numeric passcode is just too easy to crack? Gather 'round privacy freaks, we come bearing good news: you can create a custom alphanumeric passcode as long as your heart desires, as long as you're willing to type in those same 55 characters in their precise order every time you feel the urge to check Instagram. To Fort Knox-ify your device, go to Settings > Touch ID and Passcode > Change Passcode > tap Passcode Options > select Custom Alphanumeric Code.
Set up an automated scroll function
Ever been scrolling down a webpage on your phone and wished it would just scroll itself? We're busy people, and a few seconds saved here and there add up, ya know? Go to Settings > General > Accessibility > AssistiveTouch and slide to turn it on. You'll notice a blurry translucent dot appear on the lower right of your screen -- don't freak out, you're on the right track.
Next, tap Create New Gesture, and in the open area, slowly move your finger on the screen from the button toward the top, as if you were scrolling through a long email or article. Click Save, and label the gesture "Scroll." Now, select Customize Top Level Menu, tap the Custom button, select "Scroll," and your new function is added. To activate it when you're reading something, tap the translucent dot, select "Scroll," then tap the smaller dot that pops up in the bottom of whatever page you're on and enjoy some sweet, sweet auto-scrolling. This is admittedly a little advanced and complicated, so if you're looking for a little more guidance, check out this video.
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Joe McGauley is a senior writer for Thrillist. His favorite custom vibration is bzz bzz bzzzzzzzz.