So, no one told you life was gonna be this way? Your life’s a joke, your credit card chip broke, and the article you just clicked on started with the lyrics of the Friends theme song. I hate to break it to you, but this is the new normal.
In this post-apocalyptic, chip-wielding world, nothing is good or sacred. Nothing makes sense anymore -- not even your trusty credit card. This year our cards changed for the worse with the introduction of chips (you know, the little metal squares that do nothing but cause frustration) and I’m still very upset about the whole thing. Here’s why.
They were completely forced upon us
It’d be one thing if we asked for these chips -- or if they were salt & vinegar -- but we didn’t, and they’re not. One day, I think it was in January or February, a new card was mailed to me. I opened the envelope and there it said, “Rebecca, Meet your new credit card with EMV technology!” First of all: What?! Second of all: Hard pass.
EMV -- which is just the fancy name for credit card chips that no one knows (or cares about) -- stands for the three firms that originated the technology that destroyed our lives. They were trying to help and protect us from fraud by creating a new, safer standard. Basically every single time you insert the chip, it creates a unique transaction code that can’t be replicated. It's actually genius. But it’s also still dumb and inconveniences me every single day.
I didn’t touch my new credit card for weeks. I was in denial. My current (and perfect, I should add) card wasn’t supposed to expire until 2020. We were supposed to have more time together, you know? It wasn’t supposed to end this way.
But eventually, old cards were going to stop working. I’d need this new one, whether I wanted to admit it or not -- so I begrudgingly activated it.