Tinder's New Updates Still Probably Won't Take You to Bone City

Published On 11/11/2015 Published On 11/11/2015

Maybe I'm biased because I've never taken part in the swipe-n-bang phenomenon that is Tinder, but I can't say the new updates look all that groundbreaking.

Today, Tinder rolled out some shiny new features intended to get their users into a spicy-hot tizzy. What's included in this new update? Quite a lot, but that doesn't mean people will be jumping on that runaway train to Bone City, USA anytime soon. 

"At Tinder, we’re on a mission to bring the world closer together through new connections. Today’s updates demonstrate our commitment to enhancing the connectivity that our users are experiencing -- from enriching profiles to improving our matching algorithm,” said Ryan Ogle, CTO of Tinder. The features include the following technical improvements. 

1. The addition of job and education detail in your profile, which shows perspective hook-ups where you work and went to college. Cool!
2. A new messaging interface that looks less Tinder-ish and more Facebook-ish! Neat!
3. An enhanced algorithm to drive more compatible matches together in sweet harmony. Alright! 

One feature that seems especially un-Tinder-like is aforementioned "Smart Profile" feature, which will "dynamically highlight the information most relevant to you about your potential match." Sounds all pretty and nice, except Tinder's precious trademark anonymity is lost in the abyss with... **shudder** commonalities.

One feature that's somewhat exciting is the new "Super Like," which apparently triples your chance of talking to someone. Basically, users are alerted with "a bright blue footer and star icon" which lets them know that you super *duper* like them. The downside? You only get one a day. Or... is that the upside? Anyway, the algorithm change seems promising, but you gotta wonder if an app designed for semi-anonymous sex is going to benefit from losing its veil of anonymity.

Swipe wisely, kids. Or don't, I'm not your dad. 


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Jeremy Glass is a News Writer for Thrillist and wants to make a dating app for ex-astronauts.



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