Neil Armstrong Secretly Stole A Bunch Of Sh*t From His Spaceship


On my final visit to the old Yankee Stadium, I "borrowed" a chunk of old cement and an iron “NY” logo off a dilapidated bathroom sign—simply because I knew I'd never be back. Unlikely enough, Neil Armstrong and I have a kindred nostalgic, borderline kleptomaniac train of thought.

More than 45 years after the historic Apollo 11 mission, his wife recently unearthed a clandestine bag of lunar goodies he snatched from his legendary trip. Behold, the priceless fruits of the universes’ first moon-jacking.

One small man-bag from space. One giant find for mankind.

As first reported on the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum Blog, the Armstrong "purse", as it is unfortunately named, was uncovered by his widow shortly after his death in 2012.

The bag and its contents were recently brought to the attention of the museum staff by Carol Armstrong, who immediately recognized it for what it was: a smorgasbord of essentially priceless space memorabilia from one of humanity's defining moments, clandestinely taken by Armstrong while aboard the lunar module "Eagle", which landed on the surface of the moon in July of 1969.

The space-satchel in question. It spent several decades stashed in Armstrong's closet, beneath his hanger-fulls of spacesuits and moon boots.

A space-selfie of sorts, featuring the purse in its natural habitat aboard the lunar module. From wires, cameras, clamps, netting, and mirrors—most of the things in Armstrong's secret bag were small, and would be relatively mundane in most circumstances.

Pictured here is some of the astro loot, a utility light, with power cable. 

A similar cable is shown in use here, onboard a training module. 

This 16mm data acquisition camera, found in tact inside the bag, was mounted beside Buzz Aldrin and had a direct view of Armstrong and Aldrin climbing onto the surface of the moon. 

Footage from the camera, showcasing Armstrong and Aldrin planting what appears to be a Liberian flag into the lunar surface.

The lid to the Lunar Module Waste Management System was one of the items Neil decided to steal. Hopefully while wearing gloves.

The waist tether pictured here was designed and carried in case of emergency spacewalks, but apparently, Armstrong used it to hold his feet up while he rested inside the "Eagle". I'm seriously liking this guy more with every sentence. 

So how did this wiley old space vet get away with it all while his colleagues hovered in close proximity? My theory: aliens, probably.

We salute you Mr. Armstrong, for your courage, your fortitude, and your willingness to boldly steal where no man had stolen before.


Wil Fulton is a Staff Writer at Supercompressor, and he's pretty sure Yankees' security is still looking for him. You can follow his normally law-abiding self @WilWithOnlyOneL