In case you haven’t heard (because your iPhone screen is shattered to the point where you literally cannot read words on it), Apple unveiled the latest iPhone today and OOOH BOOOY is it going to make riding the subway so much worse!
In addition to nixing the headphone jack, making the phone water-resistant, and adding a dual-lens camera, Apple announced the iPhone 7 will have two front-facing stereo speakers, which senior vice president of worldwide marketing Phil Shiller told Mashable will be twice as loud as the iPhone 6 Plus' speakers.
What does that mean for you? Well, If you enjoy having your 8am G-train ride scored by "Light It Up (Bodega Cats/Jonathan Franzen Extended Remix)" and would like to hear that twice as loud as you already do from the stranger sitting next to you, then this is going to be fun!! Otherwise, now seems like a good time to quit your job and give up on all other commitments that require travel so you never have to ride the subway again.