Bottom line: The Oregon Trail has turned the nation’s children (once our greatest resource) into a bunch of murderous, hoarding, blood-thirsty, utilitarian monsters, irrationally afraid of typhoid and snakebites, who don’t know how to tackle actual, practical problems. There is no space bar to continue in this game we call life; there are no restart buttons in the real world.
I don’t think it would be hyperbole to say that getting over the negative influence of this game is the defining obstacle our generation faces, moving forward. This is our Berlin Wall, people—and only together, can we tear it down.
Say no to casual racism; say no to unsolved family deaths; say no dysentery.
Say no to The Oregon Trail.
Wil Fulton is a recent Harvard grad who just received his triple Black-Belt in kung-fu, shortly after escorting Miss America safely to the top of Mount Everest. He’s also a compulsive liar. Follow him for the real truth @WilWithOnlyOneL