Sex Party Rule #10: Don't Hesitate
Don’t worry about being the eager beaver (too much? Nope.). The later you join the game, the more you have to wind your way through a maze of flailing legs and thrusting bodies in order to find your own empty piece of real estate. Our punctuality allowed us to grab a spot on the coveted couch.
Before I knew it, my little black dress was on the floor. I was being felt up and stripped down while groups of eager onlookers sipped cocktails and nibbled on chocolate-covered strawberries.
Sex Party Rule #11: Ignore The Fact That You're Basically Having Sex In Public, Or Don't, If That's Your Thing
When you’re having sex in public, you are so aware of it that you try as hard as you can to focus on the task at hand. So much so, that you end up forgetting that you aren’t alone. “Turn around,” my date said. I looked to see a sea of naked. In the far left corner, a couple did it reverse cowgirl; the woman next to us was standing against the wall as her date went down on her; and there was a string of men sitting on the couch, each one straddled by his date. The clamor of lusty noises made the room sound like some sort of Bacchanalian blowout. But there you are, having public sex. And it’s not so bad.
Sex Party Rule #12: Get The F*ck Out
Then, it’s over. A familiar post-sex feeling of “what did I just do” starts to creep in. I’m in an orgy… but I’m a nice girl… I went to NYU… I’m from Westchester… Mom??
I scooped up my clothing in one swoop, and dashed out of the playroom to the safety of the staging area, although, at this point, even the staging area was strewn with naked bodies. Couples were screwing on the pool table, in chairs, and on the bar. There comes a point where you have seen all the sex you can see for one night. The magic of the evening wears off, and then it’s back to being a regular porn-watching pumpkin. My date came hopping out of the playroom after me, shoes still in his hand.
“I lost my sock,” he said. “I looked for it but everyone is naked. You have to go in and get it.” I took another look into the playroom and saw couples engrossed in their own pangs of passion with hearty riding and exaggerated eye-rolling. No way was I going back in there.
I just survived a sex party. He could survive without a sock.