Shall we adjourn to the cigar garden?

Because Notting Hill is just for Welshmen wearing novelty tees Hugh Grant doesn't think are funny, hit even hipper Belgravia instead, and stay at the just-opened Belgraves. The first international boutique from Thompson Hotels, this swanky 85-roomer features an artsy fireplace-warmed lobby, library bar, and even a signature cigar garden, all while "blending traditional British hospitality with an American bohemian attitude", so expect tea and crumpets served out of a saxophone while it's being played by a dude in a scarf.

And once you're done with that, enjoy:

Your Bedchamber Dude-comfortable, muted-toned rooms come replete with cowhide rugs, leather chairs, 400-thread-count custom linens, and even romantic amenities for that special evening alone like Rococo chocolates and Coco De Mer intimacy boxes, which contain among other things, unique lotions/ massage oils, and a blindfold, in case things take a flirty, kidnappy turn.

Places To Get Pissed, Which Is Apparently What They Call Drinking The mezzanine level'd Mark's Bar mixes crafty Old World cocktails like the rye whiskey & blood orange Ward 8 reportedly created to "bribe the electorate"; the Angel Face (cider/ apricot brandy & gin); and the rich and smoky Monstrous Blood and Sand blended with whiskey from Compass Box Peat Monster.

Places To Eat, For Which They Have No Other Word Thankfully inspired by the chef's worldly travels and not his English heritage, burly ocean-to-farm fare at the 80-seat Hix Belgravia boasts a rack of Glencoe red deer w/ sweet & sour cherries, and king scallop & mustard-baked ham hock w/ yellow split & mushy peas, who must've just watched the scene where Julia Roberts claims to be just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.