Every kid threatens to run away from home at some point -- usually when Mom clamps down and says no "Saved by the Bell" reruns until your homework is done. But the list of places you'd actually run to is pretty short: Your best friend's house, because you're such a gracious guest for chicken and Stove Top, or probably just the backyard treehouse. 7-year-olds aren't actually that resourceful.
If you were particularly imaginative/delusional, though you envisioned running away to a street from your favorite TV show or movie. Because let's face it: Kids are dumb and think TV and movies are real life.
Even though you're probably not a kid anymore (and if you are, go do your homework), here are 11 streets from movies, TV and Broadway that are way better than any place you could actually move to today.
21 Jump Street On any other street in the world, cops look like cops: either close-cropped haircuts and arms the size of your head, or scraggly grey haircuts and guts the size of your body. Not on Jump Street -- where they’ve got cops who look so young they work undercover as high schoolers. Or, if you’re more into the movie version, a police station run by a guy who wrote a song called “F**k the Police” and another cop who’s best remembered as a male stripper.
10. Evergreen Terrace
The Simpsons Aside from the giant, one-eyed aliens hovering overhead all the time, Evergreen Terrace would be a stellar place to live. When Springfield went camera-crazy, it was home to the only blind spot in the city, instantly making it the party capital. It’s hosted more celebrities in 25 years than most streets will in hundreds, and was briefly home to George Bush and Gerald Ford. Moe Szylak is also a resident, though his bar -- which is a real doozy of a place to spend a whole day – is located elsewhere.
9. Elm Street
A Nightmare on Elm Street (all of them) No street’s perfect. Broadway has tourists. Pike Place smells like fish. Elm Street has the spirit of a burned up child killer who invades your dreams and kills you. And he keeps coming back like 17 different times, even when you think he’s dead. Then comes back to haunt the people who made the original movie in a really weird, terrible mid-90s epilogue. But that’s still probably better than the Champs-Élysées, which is full of French people.
8. Baker Street
Sherlock Holmes/Baker Street Being the home/office/general mystery solving headquarters for the greatest detective of all time would be grounds enough to make it onto this list. But when you can also inspire Gerry Rafferty to write an entire song about the emptiness of drinking and city life with the most famous sax riff in pop music history, well, you’ve cemented your place in the Top 10.
Fight Club Though usually this name is reserved for streets that appear on planned community maps, are never built, and inevitably screw up your crappy GPS, the Paper Street we’re referring to is home to the Paper Street Soap Company, where Tyler Durden and his gang of recreational fighters “sold fat women their own fat asses back to them” as high-end soaps. It was also ground zero for a large-scale financial revolution, and occasional shack spot for poor Marla Singer, who was never really sure who it was she was shacking with.
6. Sesame Street
Sesame Street When a green dude shoots up out of a trash can screaming every time you try and throw away your leftover Taco Bell packets, it’s amazing a street can stay this clean. Then again, when you’ve got a 10-foot bird around to eat said trash, and a resident DINK couple, things are gonna stay pretty nice. And through sponsorship from various numbers and letters over the years, the street was even able to withstand the closing of Mr. Hooper’s store after his unfortunate death. Also, it is apparently the only urban street in America where small children walk around without their parents and nobody bats an eyelash.
5. Wisteria Lane
Desperate Housewives Even if you didn’t follow the show and its plot lines that twisted like, well, wisteria, you have to appreciate a street with America’s best collection of women over 40, where you can end up sleeping with Eva Longoria just by raking leaves, or married to Teri Hatcher just by moving next door. And between murders, illegitimate children, blackmail, and more murders, it might be the only suburban street in America that's more interesting that whatever city it’s near.
4. Coronation Street
Coronation Street Any street that can land itself in a TV show can create enough drama to last a couple hours. Or a few seasons. But 54 years and counting? You’ve gotta have a whole lotta crazy going on to last that long, and that’s exactly what the site of England’s most famous soap opera’s got, seeing everything from a father selling his son, to a wrongful imprisonment that caused Tony Blair to comment on it in front of Parliament. In real life.
King of the Hill Not only do they put on a vastly superior fireworks display to those hacks on Milton street, Hank Hill, Dale Gribble, Kahn Souphanousinphone and the rest of Rainey’s residents seemingly throw barbecues every day, produce first-rate high school athletes and never, EVER have a bug problem. Really, the only drawback is the parade of guys in trucks with 15-foot rims rolling around looking for Luanne, and a guy who just mumbles when you ask him for directions.
2. Avenue Q
Avenue Q Living with educational puppets is all well and good when you’re a kid. When you get older, you’d really much rather be living around puppets with names like the Bad Idea Bears and Lucy the Slut (their word, not ours). Enter Avenue Q, the Broadway parody of Sesame Street where gay puppets actually admit they’re gay (we’re looking at you, Bert), others have loud, slightly uncomfortable puppet sex, another makes millions off of Internet porn, and they all happily sing that “we’re all a little bit racist”.
1. Spooner Street
Family Guy There’s a talking dog and evil genius baby on this street, which would be reason enough to top this list. But Spooner Street dominates the Harvest Day float competition (that one year they had it) and was briefly home to the microstate of Petoria. It’s also been a popular hangout for celebrities like James Caan, Lauren Conrad, and the cast of "Star Trek: The Next Generation", and may or may not have also been the site of an ancient Indian burial ground.