Where golfing is for goats

Down in Lajitas, anything's possible: a beer-drinking goat could be named mayor, his son could succeed him after murdering him in a drunken brawl, and, most amazingly, you could shoot under 120! Take a slice out of the border, at Lajitas Golf Resort and Spa.

Nestled between Big Bend National and State parks, this desert-duffers oasis has just been majorly overhauled, with improvements including a pro-designed course, a slew of rustic-yet-comfortable lodgings, and plenty of Western recreation, though being Lajitas, you might have to bring your own Lee Van Cleevage. The par-72 championship-quality course, Black Jack's Crossing, was recently re-envisioned by Lanny Wadkins, and's been upgraded with heat-resistant African grass, a 500yd, 25-station driving range, a 5000ft putting green, a short-game practice facility, a 9-hole par-3, and carts equipped with GPS, which in these parts, apparently no longer stands for Gopher Punishment System (so bring that tazer). Lodgings are handled via wet-barred suites, wood-floored Boardwalk Condos, cottages with cowhide rugs and fireplaces, the Lajitas Lookout (overhanging Comanche Mesa), and the outdoor-fire-pitted Amigo House, a fine place to rest your Dusty Bottoms.

Beyond stroking it, you can also hit their recently added Equestrian Center, a gun-slinging Cowboy Action Shoot course, or mountainous ATV tours. If you have/are a girlfriend, the Agave Spa utilizes W TX holistics like local stones and Rio Grande mud -- though the only Clay you should be butting heads with is Henry. III.