Because cabs are for saps

Getting around without a car in LA is easy, assuming you have a helicopter, or at the very least, a helicopter-like gadget that comes out of your hat when pursuing nefarious doctors with metal claw hands, scary voices, and, ugh, cats. Or, failing all that, you call Uber.

The brainchild of a former IT dude who loathed hailing cabs, Uber's like the on-demand chauffeur you always assumed you'd have once you sold that Berenstain Bears rom-com, thanks to a smartphone app that grants you very nearly instant access to a better-than-the-Lakers-roster of Town Cars, Escalades, Benzes, and hopefully Datsuns. It works like this: just either text Uber your address, or use the app's map to pinpoint your location, then they'll tell you an estimated pick-up time (often as soon as five mins), and you'll be able to track your ride in real time, plus get alerted once your driver pulls up to to whatever Cheesecake Factory you're currently at. Even better, Uber keeps your credit card on file and auto-charges you by time/distance, so even if you blew all your cash money on delicious Pumpkin Pecan Cheesecake or White Chocolate Caramel Macadamia Nut Cheesecake or even Craig's Crazy Carrot Cake Cheesecake, you can still ride in that pimped Datsun without worrying about having to sign or tip.

And to make sure the driver doesn't spend the whole time regaling you with reasons why you shouldn't trust the Irish, the app's also got a post-ride rating system that helps Uber determine whether they keep/drop certain drivers, taking into account everything from how well they know the city to whether they're wearing deodorant, so you can just relax and spend your ride admiring the car and inspecting its gadgets.