Paradise found

Tell your boss you’re “just scouting for power-hitting third-base talent, no big deal” and book a stay at the Dominican Republic’s Fishing Lodge Cap Cana, a new nautical-worshipping vacation village just a quick jaunt from the Punta Cana airport. Surrounding the Caribbean’s largest inland marina, it houses 299 Mediterranean-style, one- to three-bedroom villas you can swim right in/out of, unless you don't know how to swim, in which case, why in the world do you live in Miami?

Unlike practically every other resort in the DR, this one lets you go a la carte or all-inclusive with its offerings, which include a buttload of water activities like guided sailfishing, pleasure boat rentals, and scuba diving; four different pools; 18 Jack Nicklaus-designed holes at the Punta Espada Golf Club; and nearby horseback riding and paintball, although unfortunately not at the same time.

Because vacations are about squandering the beach body you came in with, hit Mediterranean-themed Bistrot for fresh catches from the sea like a Serrano chili-covered crispy skin red snapper with rock shrimp, or the swanky Mansito Bar, which also houses a spacious "adult lounge", so just leave your young children unattended in the bar part when you go in there.

All guests'll also have access to a Castaway-esque secluded beach, which can be reached with a two-minute ride on a private watercraft, also a generous way to describe how most of the Cuban baseball talent arrives in the States.