Fire up an excavator, and just go nuts

Working your way up the corporate ladder can be tough, which is exactly why you should climb those much shorter metal ladders, then bulldoze the crap out of everything in sight at manual-labor wonderland People at Play: The Heavy Equipment Experience. Just a breezy 3.5hr Spring road trip away in Bradenton, the SE's first construction playground lets you climb into, and, like a gangster, do what you will with all the heavy machinery your Xanax has been annoyingly urging you to not operate for years. Read the three "Job Descriptions" below, and apply as soon as possible -- positions are filling up fast

Operator (job time: 2hrs): Applicant must be a self-starter. Mainly because he will be handed keys and asked to start a giant-ass CAT 312 Steel Track Excavator. Strong attention to detail essential, especially for “Excavator Bowling” project, which involves lining up the Excavator bucket behind an actual bowling ball and sending it flying towards bowling pins. Safety and equipment knowledge awesomely not necessary

Foreman (job time: 4hrs): Micromanaging skills essential, as applicant will also be responsible for overseeing/operating a much smaller Skid Steer Loader. Key tasks include filling a 5ft concrete pipe with dirt, stacking truck tires onto a pole, and pushing another pipe through a cone maze. Must be able to withstand high-pressure environment and meet deadlines, as activities are timed, and much crap will be talked amongst other successful applicants

Superintendent (job time: 6hrs): Applicant will be responsible for managing an experienced team: Excavator, Skid Steer Loader, and Bulldozer. Problem-solving acumen paramount, namely for tasks like Dozer Island, in which applicants must bulldoze their way out of a ring of dirt. Microsoft Excel a plus.