5. "I have diarrhea!"
Whoa… too much information, lady. I do not care that you need to be this close to the restroom so you don’t s**t your pants, and I do not care about your personal problems. I don’t know you. Do me a favor: just sit close to the john and stay mum on the subject. Although, FYI, if you do happen to crap yourself, I hope you brought baby wipes and a change of panties, because we do not have loaners.
6. "Can you change my Depends?"
Do I look like a nurse? I am a flight attendant, trained in emergency evacuations, not bowel evacuations. The last time I checked, that little spiel about flotation devices doesn’t include your pee-soaked diaper. Plus, I don’t want to catch Hepatitis… and I can already smell you from here.