You know you've always wanted to live in one of those states that weirdly divides its electoral votes so that like, one little corner of the state can vote differently than the rest. You also know you've never wanted to live in Nebraska. So, Maine! You get to be first in line for the country's finest lobster, which means you get to eat the country's finest lobster rolls. You get to experience Portland (no, not that one). You get to have a kindly neighbor who makes you homemade blueberry jam every year. (Seriously, every Mainer gets an annual neighborly blueberry jam allotment, look it up!) Yes, you also have to deal with rich assholes on summer vacation and a tragically short window for said summer vacation, but your belly will be too full of lobster meat and blueberries to care.
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who listen to everything Tim Allen says, and those who don't. Which kind do you want to be? Wait, don't answer that! Instead, consider moving to Michigan. Everyone's been saying for years Detroit's gonna get better, and it seems like it's actually starting to legitimately materialize! But it'd also be a disservice to ignore the rest of the state. Western Michigan's a damn paradise of idyllic lake towns, breweries, distilleries, wineries, cherries, and probably other stuff that ends in "ies" and makes for good eating and/or drinking. The Upper Peninsula is full of natural beauty and meat pies. It's like having a laid-back bonus state on top of your already existing state. Sure, it's trended bluer in recent elections, so it may not be the best spot for, like, swinging the election, but let's be honest, the mathematical odds of that are astronomical! You want the parties to pay attention to you, sure, but what you want MORE is the opportunity to drink a bunch of Founders on a pontoon boat at your friend's lake house. You want Michigan.